ChilternPete
15-01-2007, 10:43 AM
COMMUNICATION & PATIENCE
Yes ok, they were not the words you expected, but for my money and I am fairly experienced now, they are the words that all concerned should pay more attention to, indeed I tend to suggest to newcomers, that if these are not evident you are talking to the wrong person.
Without communication
How does the Top know what you seek, how you think, what your limits are and how you want things to be handled? As the bottom if you can not talk to the Top and chat informally about your wishes, your feelings about this, what you want to include, or exclude, how is this going to work out?
You really should feel that the person on the other end is listening carefully to what you have to say; this of course applies even more to bottoms or subs. You may not wish them to pay any attention to you “wishes” later, but now they simply need to learn about you.
Without Patience
Then a prospective partner may not be whom you expect, or what you expect.
No one should feel under pressure to meet straight away, the right time for them is when they are ready and not before. This is absolutely essential for newbies and to be a bit sexist, why does a female Top/bottom want to hurry, she has enough choice, to take her time and make sure the partner is right.
My suggestion to all would be to feel comfortable (grin yes I know) about meeting someone and not let yourself be pressured into something you are not ready for. Despite what “Sir this” or “Lady that” may say, you drive the agenda at this point, maybe not later, but then you did not want that did you?
Yes ok, they were not the words you expected, but for my money and I am fairly experienced now, they are the words that all concerned should pay more attention to, indeed I tend to suggest to newcomers, that if these are not evident you are talking to the wrong person.
Without communication
How does the Top know what you seek, how you think, what your limits are and how you want things to be handled? As the bottom if you can not talk to the Top and chat informally about your wishes, your feelings about this, what you want to include, or exclude, how is this going to work out?
You really should feel that the person on the other end is listening carefully to what you have to say; this of course applies even more to bottoms or subs. You may not wish them to pay any attention to you “wishes” later, but now they simply need to learn about you.
Without Patience
Then a prospective partner may not be whom you expect, or what you expect.
No one should feel under pressure to meet straight away, the right time for them is when they are ready and not before. This is absolutely essential for newbies and to be a bit sexist, why does a female Top/bottom want to hurry, she has enough choice, to take her time and make sure the partner is right.
My suggestion to all would be to feel comfortable (grin yes I know) about meeting someone and not let yourself be pressured into something you are not ready for. Despite what “Sir this” or “Lady that” may say, you drive the agenda at this point, maybe not later, but then you did not want that did you?