A more-or-less complete beginner writes...

**Xerxes** · 17-07-2010, 09:47 PM

Evening all.

It's been interesting looking at this splendid little forum over the last couple of days. It seems a nice community with lots of banter and humour, but I can't help notice that everyone seems to be rather experienced with the old spanking thing. And I'm, well, not.

At all. I suppose I've had fantasies all my life but never dared to act upon them, but recently I've been wondering. Incidentally, I'm male, straight, a wannabe Top but I imagine a bit of switching might be a good idea to start with.

So does anyone have any advice to someone who's thinking of dipping a toe into the water of corporal punishment for the first time? (Sorry, awful metaphor there!

) How does one get started? What's the etiquette? Do any of you lovely people have any words of wisdom?

**borocub** · 17-07-2010, 09:58 PM

well you have made the first step. I had sessions first as a sub. I think finding out what works helps with a spanker. I was lucky after many session i found my partener. He mentors me to switch.

**anarchistic_masochist** · 17-07-2010, 10:09 PM

Hello Xerxes, Sir

As you can probably tell by the way I've addressed you, I'm a sub. I have not seen any dominant women on here, but there are plenty of men who would love to thrash you! Men and women dominate in different ways, so it might be a good idea to submit to a male, so that you can (possibly literally) learn the ropes.

Cool name, by the way!

Cherry x

**Xerxes** · 17-07-2010, 10:16 PM

Cheers, both. I wasn't expecting replies so soon- I feel welcomed.

Yes, I think it wouyld be a good idea to know how to take a damn good thrashing before giving them- it seems the gentlemanly thing to do at this point.

Not sure how comfortable I'd be about submitting to a male, though- I'll have to think about that.

**anarchistic_masochist** · 17-07-2010, 10:23 PM

Originally Posted by Xerxes

...Not sure how comfortable I'd be about submitting to a male, though- I'll have to think about that.

I can understand your reluctance, but I was thinking that it may be possible for you to look for a male that is just into CP, and no "extras", if you know what I mean. CP is about trust in a big way, especially if you're the one that is submitting!

Of course, it is all entirely up to you!

Something for you to think about, anyway...

Cherry x

**borocub** · 17-07-2010, 10:24 PM

Originally Posted by Xerxes

Cheers, both. I wasn't expecting replies so soon- I feel welcomed.

Yes, I think it wouyld be a good idea to know how to take a damn good thrashing before giving them- it seems the gentlemanly thing to do at this point.

Not sure how comfortable I'd be about submitting to a male, though- I'll have to think about that.

There is more to just giving someone a good thrashing. I've built up my levels. Yes giving up control is the hardest thing. The guys i have sessions with i trust. It comes down to talking setting limits and respect.

**Uncle David** · 17-07-2010, 10:43 PM

Originally Posted by Xerxes

Evening all.

It's been interesting looking at this splendid little forum over the last couple of days. It seems a nice community with lots of banter and humour, but I can't help notice that everyone seems to be rather experienced with the old spanking thing. And I'm, well, not.

At all. I suppose I've had fantasies all my life but never dared to act upon them, but recently I've been wondering. Incidentally, I'm male, straight, a wannabe Top but I imagine a bit of switching might be a good idea to start with.

So does anyone have any advice to someone who's thinking of dipping a toe into the water of corporal punishment for the first time? (Sorry, awful metaphor there!

) How does one get started? What's the etiquette? Do any of you lovely people have any words of wisdom?

You write very well and at your age of thirty-three should do well if you are prepared to take your time to become known on spanking sites such as this one. There are female subbies on here but I think it's fair to say there aren't many and so it will be for them to decide whether they are inclined to accept an inexperienced Top.

I first spanked a lady many years' ago and, although I had no experience, things came naturally to me as you may find they will to you. It's very important to be honest but, if you wish to be Top, I wouldn't advise you to make too much of an issue regarding your apprehension. If you do receive replies from advertisements, you may well find that the ladies themselves will make a point of being shy and nervous and so it will be your job to lead and help them. By the way - do beware, as you may receive bogus replies from men masquerading as females which can be time-wasting as well as frustrating.

If you look around the internet, you'll find many spanking sites with interesting reading matter, so do surf around.

I'm confident you will do but at all times act in a responsible manner and treat subbies in a caring and considerate way.

With best wishes, Uncle David

**Xerxes** · 17-07-2010, 10:53 PM

Originally Posted by anarchistic_masochist

I can understand your reluctance, but I was thinking that it may be possible for you to look for a male that is just into CP, and no "extras", if you know what I mean. CP is about trust in a big way, especially if you're the one that is submitting!

Of course, it is all entirely up to you!

Something for you to think about, anyway...

Cherry x

Actually that might be doable, purely in the interests of scientific experimentation- I'm rather curious about what my limits may be.

I suppose what makes me a bit uncomfortable is the thought of another man's hand on my rear!

Originally Posted by borocub

There is more to just giving someone a good thrashing. I've built up my levels. Yes giving up control is the hardest thing. The guys i have sessions with i trust. It comes down to talking setting limits and respect.

Yes, definitely. I admit the thought of spanking others makes me quite nervous and I'd need to be sure that everything I did was ok. I'm sure there's an element of beginner's ignorance here but I definitely don't want to hurt anyone. If you know what I mean...!

Mind you, when it comes to my own limits, I'm really quite curious!

Originally Posted by Uncle David

You write very well and at your age of thirty-three should do well if you are prepared to take your time to become known on spanking sites such as this one. There are female subbies on here but I think it's fair to say there aren't many and so it will be for them to decide whether they are inclined to accept an inexperienced Top.

I first spanked a lady many years' ago and, although I had no experience, things came naturally to me as you may find they will to you. It's very important to be honest but, if you wish to be Top, I wouldn't advise you to make too much of an issue regarding your apprehension. If you do receive replies from advertisements, you may well find that the ladies themselves will make a point of being shy and nervous and so it will be your job to lead and help them. By the way - do beware, as you may receive bogus replies from men masquerading as females which can be time-wasting as well as frustrating.

If you look around the internet, you'll find many spanking sites with interesting reading matter, so do surf around.

I'm confident you will do but at all times act in a responsible manner and treat subbies in a caring and considerate way.

With best wishes, Uncle David

Thanks for that very considered and helpful reply- I appreciate it.

**borocub** · 17-07-2010, 11:01 PM

like cherry has said there are guys that only do cp. I have one guy i see from time to time. As he works over seas. He treats me like a naughty nephew, there is no sexual content. For me it's the ritual of been spanked like a naughty boi.i do enjoy the sexual side too, but what ever is agreed by both parties from the start that's important.