How do you say 'thanks but no thanks'...

[happygolucky]

Without hurting someone's feelings?

A couple of hours ago I met a guy in a Little Chef (the restaurant chain - stop it). I chose it deliberately because I'm sure that no-one I know would ever go there. The idea was to chat in a public place prior to arranging a session in the coming weeks. I think we got along fine and there's certainly enough of a spark for me to want to take things further and will make an appointment for him to visit for some quite hard CP (his request) the week after next.

It set me wondering though; what if there's no spark? What if I thought 'ooh yuk, not on your nellie, mate.'? How do you tell someone who's keen that you're not keen on them? I know it's going to happen as we can't all get along with everyone so what should one say? It's also bound happen the other way about sometime and, hopefully they'll have the courage to say exactly what they mean.



Thoughts anyone?

[fishvicar]

quite simply you have to be honest and just say sorry its just not going to happen....a couple of times this has happened to me with meetings on here, one or two we had a session but we just knew there would be no repeat . one however must keep on searching as there will come a day or night when you will click with someone and repeat sessions will happen, i am happy to say via this site i have met a excellent master who looks after all my needs and in return i am very happy to submit to himhis requests........so just say thanks for the meeting but no thanks.....most people will lik.
e the honestly

[StrictTop]

There's nothing derogatory or insulting about saying "sorry I don't think we are suited". Different interests and styles, different levels of play, different availabilities etc. So long as you aren't rude to the person, they should accept your "no thanks" with good grace. Next time it could be them saying no ...

[ladyseeker]

I think it's always a good idea to cover this topic prior to meeting. I make sure that the ladies I meet have been made well aware that we're meeting on the strict understanding that saying 'no thanks' is absolutely allowed if either party is in the slightest bit worried. On one occasion the lady concerned was worried that we might know people in common as we seemed to share so many, quite local interests. I was a bit mortified when, a few months later I thought I spied her at a school event. Needless to say I steered well clear discretion always being... etc.

[Collingwood]

I can't see anything wrong in just saying ' I'm afraid that we're not compatible' or 'good luck but I don't think that this going to work' .
A lot depends on how it is said, and when it is said.....so that the person doesn't feel they've been led on in any way.
I met up with a man who I could really tell was not interested in me, and I was quite pleased when after a few minutes, he was honest enough to say that he didn't think that it was going to work . We shook hands and he went on his way.
If someone tries to be a bit manipulative and demand further explanations or maintain that they are entitled to do whatever they want because they've travelled some distance to meet you, then it's probably best to avoid getting too involved with them.Good luck !

[Titanites]

Perhaps slant it against yourself? E.g., "I don't think I'm what you're looking for." Or simply be honest without being brutal: "Sorry but it's ---- I'd like, I don't enjoy +++++". The latter especially if the other party's tastes are significantly different from your own. I have used this with more wide-ranging phone/postal contact services when it becomes clear almost immediately that your respondent has not taken the trouble to read your ad or reply properly.