Hi everyone.
The man who looks like the boss from an illegal alcohol racket from 1924 who either nearly drowned in a vat of aftershave or just wanders through the cosmetics section of Boots far too often.
A somewhat frequent attendee of the West End Munch (and avid fan of Paradox) in addition to the Gamers and Geeks Munch; I have that most useless of talents: bearing an uncanny resemblance to my photograph. What dark magic is this!? The Great Old Ones have been generous in their benevolence.

I am single (legitimately, I am not involved in a poly arrangement etc), and before all you ladies proceed to stampede to my inbox (a la Lion King style, SCAAAAAR BROTHERRRRR), maybe a wee read of the following might be of some use. Or ya know, just cut to the chase and message me

Kink interests:

Spanking/impact play, roleplay, sensory deprivation, rope play, wax play. Those are the main ones I guess, but certainly amenable and open to offers (pro tip: panda pictures earns mad bonus points, thats a platinum trophy right there).
Muggle (aka "vanilla") interests:
Anime, gaming (dear god, a stereotype in the making here), Japanese history (specifically the Sengoku Jidai era, with a strong emphasis on Iyesau Tokugawa and Matsume Date), (attempting to, very poorly) learn Mandarin and calligraphy. I am an avid walker (maintains my level of fat bastard-ery to a tolerable level), and also a keen programmer in my spare time.
Apparently, if I were a Pokemon, I'd be Snubbull:
"Although it looks frightening, it is actually kind and affectionate. It is very popular among women."
Well, least the description got 2 out of 3 correct about me. I'll let you find out which 3
What do I bring to the table?
What!? You mean beside the obvious?!
...A genuine man who has a humility of spirit that only a cruel life can bestow, and the quiet dignity accorded to those who for too long must remain silent. The uncanny ability to read people and discern what ails them, with the compassion and desire to alleviate their distress. Loyalty, empathy and respect to a degree that borders on illogical. A fierce independence and indomitable will of spirit that refuses to yield or be broken: to make MY mark on the world and allow my ambitions to be realised.
Someone who will clumsily but in the most endearing way imaginable express how much he cares for you, and how happy you make him. And a man who will cry behind closed doors at just how damn lucky he is.
What do I look for in a partner/playmate?

A female who knows her own mind, and is happy to articulate it. Intelligence and wit are major attractions for me, I need to be mentally stimulated. Someone confident, who chooses to submit on their terms and who knows their own limits and can and will articulate them loudly and clearly. I respond really well to compassionate, widely read, conversation focused, observant people.
Weakness is a fundamental part of the human condition and being. We all have our demons and problems, and never will I turn away a prospective partner/mate for health/mental difficulties. Life is challenging and we all approach and endure such trials differently.

What I am NOT looking for or expecting in the slightest is a bipedal fetish dispenser. Just because you happen to not share/be interested in some of my fetishes/kinks does not exclude you at all.
Kink is a journey of exploration and sensuality. Knowing and discovering one's limits with the helpful, loving care and guidance of another. Let's make the trip together
The kinks I've specified are a baseline, and there are activities and kinks that I am open to, curious about and the like. Obviously, that would be a conversation best dispensed with between us privately rather than shouting it across the nether realm of internet but I digress.
Humblemetsuke cheat codes
Pictures of raccoons, bulldogs or pandas will most definitely earn super massive bonus points